lol,they guy I like goes 2 boasies,Idk if I spelled that right?

its 4 pple that have mental disabilities or need more help then others,he reads really slow but that doesnt mean anything what does reading have 2 do with anything?

awww,I hope it works out.

xx

ohhh.

I thought u would just have 2g2 counciling 4 cutting..

b/c I go there but only 4school,and I HATE IT!!!

they want 2 kno everything!!!

u can g2 juvii 4 cutting?!?!?!?!?!?!?

thats dumb.

ur mom seems like a controll freak,my dad iz like that!!!!

Im sorry.

Aww well that sucks it won't work. I guess your only other option is to try and stay out of your mums way as much as possible then. You'll probably find you and her get on better when you're not living together. That's the case with a lot of people. I hope things get better at least xxx

Sorry about that break up. I hope you're over your ex now. That's great you didn't cut for a long time and that you haven't let a little relapse hold you back. Good luck to ya! I know how it is to feel like you're losing everyone. I remember writing very similar entries in my diary. I've had a lot of people leave and it hurts... But you have to remember the good times and be glad they happened. You and your mum might get along betetr in a while. I used to argue with my mum quite a bit but now our arguments are rare. Keep talking to her and working on it. If you both make the effort, you can learn to get along and sometimes agree to disagree without getting into an argument. Just coz your brother is going into the navy, doesn't mean you've lost him. I know he won't be aroudn but he'll get time off to visit. I know it's not the same as him being there all the time but it's better than nothing and you can still keep in touch other ways. Same with your dad aswell. It's better than no contact at all or never seeing them again.Try and think of it that way. Your mum shouldn't have acted that way when she found the cigrettes but deep downj it's because she cares and doesn't want you to smoke yourself to death and end up getting cancer beause she loves you. She just doesn't know the best way to express her concerns and it probably made her angry that you would smoke and risk getting cancer and stuff. She shouldn't have shouted or gone through your things but no ones perfect. Killing yourself is never the answer and nothing or no one is worth throwing your whole life away over. I'm sorry i have to go now, my baby's just woken up but I'll comment more when i can. Take care xxx

ha, he won't get locked up for a bowl. he's probably have to go to court, they'll give him a continuance (meaning he'll have to go a second time) than they'll tell him to pay either a small fine or mandate counciling at most.

unless he already has a record.

nice fact!

HAPPY 160TH ENTRY!! (obnoxiously blows a horn in your ear)

I'm sorry that you was made to have sex when you didn't want to. I'm glad that doesn't happen to you anymore. I went through something similar aswell. Glad I'm not getting annoying and that you don't see my comments as nagging. Lol. Congrats to your brother, you must be so proud of him turning his life around like that! Did you make up that little rap at the bottom of your entry? It was cool xxxx

I hope your brother is off the coke now. It's really sad that your family had to suffer that way. Sad what drugs can do to people. That's true that everyone dies eventually but imagien how much better your life could be if you stopped now before the voices and things got worse and also imagine how much longer your life would be too. Sorry for going on about it. I just worry. But if you still don't wanna give up weed, I promise I'll stop nagging you and respect your decision. It's just that another reason to care about what happens to you is coz the stuff that happens to you also affects your family and that's not fair. Plus you only get one body so you need to take care of it. Anyway sorry if I'm getting on your nerves. I'll shut up now. Take care xxx

Nutmeg? I never tried that one. I used to be a heavy addict and have tried many drugs but that was years ago. Have been clean for 7 years now apart from a few minor slip-ups. I know what you mean about coke. I was addicted to the stuff for 3 years. I almost died a few tims from XTC. One time I stopped breathing and my best friend gave me the kiss of life and saved my life. If he hadn't have been there, I would be dead now all thanks to drugs. I'm glad to hear that you won't snort oxys or viks anymore  You don't see weed as problem for you YET. But when you're hearing voices 24.7 and are so paranoid you're scared to leave your house EVER just sitting there wondering why you let some stupid herb ruin your life, then it will be a problem for you. Only then it will be too late. Weed is probably half the reason I'm so screwed up and have this issue with the voices in my head. Not to mention how your increasing your risk of lung cancer. Ugh what a horrible way to die and horrible way for your family to have to watch you die. But it's your choice I guess if that's what you really want. Anyway take care xxx

im the same way. i just wanna live my life the way i want to. i've never done anything too bad really. the worst thing i've done is take a handful of dramamine (over the counter, for motion sickness) and i got shaky and couldnt talk or walk and i eventually passed out.....i never wanna do it again cuz i was so scared i was gonna die. but that isnt gonna keep me from doing whatever else i wanna do, na mean?

oh and why do you cut? especially if it makes you feel stupid, psycho, etc?

You haven't experienced psycho. I've been seeing shadow figures everytime I close my eyes. But I don't tell anyone. I'm not ready to be locked up yet.

Jovonnah Rabbit (she made me say it)

People will never let the drug thing go will they? I HATE when people are all "jesus wouldnt do drugs" cuz it is YOUR FRIGGING LIFE.

People need to lay of your a**.

for real. i used to be real "oh no no thats bad for you" but now i really dont care.

you only live once!

I'm sorry for the comment yesterday.  My sister died when she was 16 because of drug abuse.  She did almost all of the drugs you did, and she only did them for like 10 months.  Ever since she died I promised myself that I would speak out on drug abuse.  I know that you probly won't take my advice but doing drugs can kill you.  I think you should quit.  My sister had the same attitude you did.  Then I lost her 3 years ago when I was 10.

These are sites I think you should check out.  www.dfyit.org, www.dare.com, www.madd.org. www.sadd.org. 

~sofoma

omg, whoever commented two down needs to hush. if you want to live your life THE FUN WAY it is your right....its not their place to tell you who to be.

omg, i HATE that....god.

O.K.  I have one thing to say to you and it is, "GET SOME HELP!!!!!"  Getting high can kill you ya moron.  (so can whatever crap of a drug your doing) Are you trying to die young?

~sofoma
DFY-IT Student
(Drug Free Youth In Town)

I think your bro is in the picture just a little too late.  I feel bad for you.  I will pray for God to save you but getting back on the straight and narrow is like trying to pull the finest thread through a needle.  Good luck.

There is only one advantage to your lifestyle:  you will get a lot of readers, and have lots of friends- people love stuff like this.

Oooo. When you get a chance, post a pic of him so I can see how hot he is.

That would be something to watch anyway..... lol

-mib

Lol yer I probably wont either but at least it was something to pass the time and you never know, i might remember when im wrinkly

And yer, I stole the idea from someone else on here haha

oops xxx

I like that idea.  Super funny and cool

Talk to you tomorrow.

-mib

Glad to hear about Andrew.  Seems you had a pretty good day and no one in there does it say you smoked.  Kinda impressed.    Good job.  You and Swiss, you should be there for each other and support each other in your cutting habits and hold each other accountable. 

And its great that you and your brothers get along, but I do have a question.... if you have two brothers... can't one of them mow the grass?!?!?!  Just curious. lol 

And I dont feel obligated in a way, but I guess I do somewhat.  Im glad I can comment, and at least try to help, whether or not Im successful is another story.  Who knows.  I have talked to many people on here, some have transgressed into AIM chats for private stuff, and even two have been on the phone.  It's weird, but that's me, always trying to help in whatever ways I can. 

Anyway, thanks for the comments and being here for me too.  Check on ya tomorrow.

-mib

thank you for you kind comment. 

it always seems the people with the curly hair want it straight and the people with straight hair want it curly.    no one's ever happy with what the got.  mine is wavy like her's and i have to blow dry it straight in order to look human for the day.

Actually, everything you wrote makes perfect sense.  I totally understand everything you're saying, but I think at some point you are going to have to stop and have a reality check in order to grow  and deal with life.  But I also think that it should be a slow process so, dont jump into anything (although I dont think youre ready for that quite yet.)  And keep writing here so you can allow yourself a way to express your frustrations and such, as well as the great things too (like the riding the dog thing.... very funny)

We're here for you and thanks for reading and commenting to.

-mib

[mib2you]

thanks for your comment,
i'm really glad to hear i'm not the only one C.

So, why do you feel the need to be high all the time.  From my experience (and I have a degree in psychology), you seem to do it to forget something, forget the past, or the present or just not deal with the real issues that are affecting you..... Ive read everything in here and yes, there are some seriously bad things that have happened to you, but not enough to forget life all together. So, what is it?  I mean, obviously you dont have to answer, and you may not even know, but Im just a forward person who is blunt and would rather get to the real problems instead of dancing around s4!t.  But thats just me.... anyway, let today be the start of another long term of not cutting anymore.  That does you no good at all, and will only bring on more problems, once someone sees it, because eventually someone will. 

-mib

After reading this, I wanted to read more, to get to know you and then I ended up reading every entry you have.  You have gone through a lot, so much that I think maybe at some point you should go back and read where you've been and it will allow you to see where you've come from.  It's really interesting to me just to read the constants as well as the changes in your life that we see on here.  Im signed up to read as you post now, if that's ok.  Talk to you soon about all your future entries, and maybe some of your past ones.

-mib

nice rap... why no swimming?

ps i've got a bad temper and stuborness as an added bonus

love tha shiit..yu an the girl commentin below me both sick wit it..i shoudl ut some of ma shiit on here too

i hate bitches taht dont know how to stop running their mouth."

i understand it cant be that easy to quit, ive seen many documentaries, and read many articles and i know what i feels like to struggle

do u care about your family??, if you love your family you would stop because it ripped you guys apart and theyd be extremly proud of you if u quit

you care about your friends because u tell them not to smoke so u should quit too

do you care about yourself?? smoking can cause deathly problems cigarettes and drugs is just cancer on a stick

your in a hole but that doesnt mean you cant dig your way out because there is always a new tomorrow

u say that you have screwed up your life already but why not quit and start fresh and make the best of the rest of your life

when you quit it will be the best thing that ever happened to you so i reccomend it

im here to talk queenselena14@yahoo.com

[outcast12345]

Thanks for the comment and glad you are over it too.  Hope to hear more from you soon!

-mib

sounded like fun! places w/cute guys r always fun! lolzzzzzzzzzzz =]

~destiny

yeah,im more of a freestyler to, but i write a lot of them down, just so i have them, everyone thinks its cool that a lil white girl like me can rap..lol. but dayum, they all jealous err something..

<3 Kelli

hospital for a migrane??

i get em but  i would nvr go 2 the hospial 4 1

[tomboyteen9]

oh theres nothing wrong with ghetto girls but heres a few that gets on my nerves

This girl is white really white and talks all "hood" now ive got a little ghetto to me but i don't say words like Shank and "why you tryin to face me"(meaning lie) this girl i don't know you'd just have to hear her voice to understand why i called her ghetto lol!

NOOO BLEACH lol sorry don't drink it its bad for you drink cranberry juice it's good for you and your completion as well as it cleansis your system making everything come out ughmm pomagranite juice works to - sorry about my spelling!

Good luck

What a sickner..! Yeah dont drink bleach...ick!! I dno, have the vinegar I guess...? Sory you got suspended.. and about your friend thats horrible! 

Just study, study, study and your grades will improve eventually.. not that I'd know too well.

And to your comment, yeah you're right but I can't stop. Nobody gets it.

Love&Support, Chloe xxxxxx

i live in akron, ohio

comments really mean a lot to me.and yours was one of them.thankyoufor being so understanding :) im glad there's people out there like me...

xxxx